One highly amusing post that I found on the Internet when I was writing this article was “12 signs you should get back with your ex”. An important one, perhaps, for people who might be thinking of buying Michael Fiore’s relationship program “Text Your Ex Back”!
Why is that?
Because the First Thing That Text Your Ex Back focuses on are the indications that might suggest you should be getting back together with your partner because there is a foundation for a new relationship that is thoroughly healthy and desirable.
You see, the point is people often get back together because they need the ego boost of being in a relationship, or they need to feel good because of being needed, or they need to feel wanted by their partner.
None of those are good relationship foundation, because they all put pressure on your partner is undesirable — let’s face it, people should be together because they want to be together.
So what are the signs that you could use to indicate that actually you still love your ex-partner and he or she still loves you? In other words, what are the signs that you should be thinking of getting back together with your partner, perhaps by using Michael Fiore’s program Text Your Ex Back?
Well the first one is that even though your relationship is supposedly over, your ex-partner may suddenly start text thing or e-mailing you, or even phoning you, and pretending, or least giving the appearance, that everything is “business as usual.”
But the question of course then arises — well, what has actually changed? The truth is that probably nothing, because unless there is some indication that the reasons you broke up don’t any longer exist, or either review is working to change them, getting back together will probably not be a good thing.
So you could challenge a person who is broken up with you in their first communications by asking them quite bluntly whether or not they’ve had any further thoughts about why your relationship broke down.
If they don’t have any clear answer to this question, then it’s probable that they haven’t given much thought to why they want to get back together with you. I mean, let’s face facts: it could even be something as ridiculous as the fact that they want sex.
That is rather demeaning of both you and your ex-partner — particularly if you agree to give it to them!
So the 12 signs that might really indicate that something is genuinely different are:
- he seems to be worried or upset because he genuinely cares for you
- you continue to communicate deeply and openly about what happened in your relationship & where you might want to go in the future
- your ex-partner is really apologetic about what went wrong, genuinely understands what went wrong, and truly wants to make a difference in the future
- your ex-partner wants to make things up to you
- your ex-partner shows renewed devotion to you, by helping you in some meaningful way that doesn’t feel like it’s just a manipulative tactic
- you suddenly find yourself on the receiving end of a large amount of romantic overtures from your ex-partner
- your ex-partner suddenly starts to express appreciation for everything that you are and have done and continue to do
- anybody who’s cheated in the relationship admits it, confesses their guilt, and stops doing it
- and particularly, more than anything else, if a partner wants to actually engage in a growth program of some kind with you then that’s a beautiful sign that they’re serious about change
Marriage or moving in together are also key indicators of a change of heart!
Now, one thing a psychologist once said to me was that in changing our futures, by not doing what we’ve repeatedly done in the past, requires only a little difference between where we were and where we wish to be: and that difference is “just being a little bit braver”.
If you can be just a little bit braver about your relationship, then it’s possible that you might really have a good future together, and one of the ways in which you can guarantee that is to use a program which makes sure that your reconciliation, or your renewed contact, proceeds in a way that is not threatening to either of you.
I believe one of the programs that does this best is Text Your Ex Back by Mike Fiore, who is a relationship guru and online counsellor and therapist.